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Cera vs Watson
Cera vs Watson is a fanfic story where Michael Cera and Emma Watson have a love/hate relationship. Rated: M for foul language, conflicts, and a character death. Summary Michael Cera gets involved in a accident and Emma Watson (being an evil bitch) decides to rudely blackmail him. Will Michael get someone to save him? Or will he become Emma's personal servant forever? Plot Our story starts with Michael standing inside a car with Brie Larson, Ellen Page, Rihanna, Danny McBride, Anton Yelchin, and James Franco. They're yelling at him, "Dude, sit the fuck down." However, he is too excited to sit down but he accidentally hits his head on something and falls out of the car. They plan to come get him but crash into a truck, much to Michael's horror. He runs away from the scene, unaware that Emma Watson is there recording the whole thing with a smirk on her face The next day at his home, Michael watches the news about the crash and found out that the group are in a coma while Anton dies. He prays for forgiveness but then he hears his doorbell, "Now who can that be?" He goes to the door, answers it, and is not happy to see Emma Watson standing there with a smirk. He says with venom in his voice, "What do you want Watson?" She shows a tape and says, "We don't want this going to the whole world now, don't we?" A scared Michael sighs and nods to her. "Good, now you are going to serve me as long as I don't release this in public, got it?" He nods again and lets her in. She sits down on the couch and motions Michael to come sit next to her, which he does. "Look, I have nothing against you or anything. I think you're a great person and deserve better but you're working for me now and I'm gonna make us pair up together. I can do things to persuade those movie directors or producers that you can't do." says a smug looking Emma while he was confused, "Oh yeah, like what?" However, he sees the knowing smirk on her face and it makes him realize what she means, "Never mind, I don't really wanna know." Then Emma hugs him from behind by the neck and shows a smirk, "It's gonna be great, you getting raised by me. You know I really wanted another younger brother. I will take you under my wing but don't worry, you can still hang out with friends. Come on, let's go somewhere." They walk out the door after carrying Emma's bags in. At a local McDonalds, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and some other actors are stunned that him and Emma are hanging out. However, they hear he is being blackmailed and so they start making a plan. "Guys, why don't we find some embarrassing pictures of her being a damsel in distress?" said a smirking Chris while they also smirk and Ewan McGregor gets excited, "Oh yeah, I got supplies in some castle that I paid for." Everyone at first was looking surprised at that but they seem happy about this and they leave while Emma takes Michael with her to some party. At the party, it's hosted by Orlando Bloom. Emma drags Michael to sit with her, Natalie Portman, Bella Throne (whose mouth is taped shut), Samara Weaving, Jack Black, and Emma Roberts. "Why does she have tape on her mouth?" asks a worried Michael about a nervous Bella, who just nervously hugs her knees. "She was too nervous to talk to you. The truth is you are one of the only people she has a crush on." explained by Samara Weaving so Michael comforts Bella, "Hey it's okay, I sometimes like you too. You don't have to be nervous around me. Don't be ashamed of yourself." Bella blushes and hugs him, which he returns. "Michael, truth or dare?" asks a smirking Emma Roberts and Michael answers, "Dare." "I dare you to make out with Bella in some room." says Roberts. Michael grabs Bella's hand and takes her to a room. A few seconds later, they come out of the room and wave at the cheering crowd. Bella just sits next to Samara, lies down on her lap, and is petted by her. "Natalie, it's your turn to give a truth or dare." says Samara to a nodding Natalie, "Michael, truth or dare." Michael picks truth and is asked why he doesn't want to be friends with Natalie Portman. Michael sighs and explains that his fan Brandon Keffer-Robalik dated Caitlyn Rugg and he was good to her but she started abusing him and then cheated on him with a guy from Virginia. Heartbroken and betrayed, he dumped her on Facebook and the ex-couple have became enemies. Everyone feels sympathy for the poor boy and understand why he dumped her. Natalie was shocked, her fan cheated on an innocent guy and hated him for the break-up. She will probably send sympathy to him. Emma Watson takes Michael Cera back to his house while making a few goodbyes to their friends. However, Bella (who has taken the tape off) and Samara Weaving come with them and also go to Michael's apartment. At Michael's apartment, the four have started watching movies and fall asleep. The next morning at the castle, everyone found it beautiful. "Holy shit, I guess Star Wars really paid off." said a stunned Chris while Ewan smirks at them, "Yep, I don't regret being a Jedi." Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson nod in agreement because this was a beautiful sight. Yeah, it was like the live action version of the Beast's castle. Meanwhile, Emma gets distracted by some book but when she's not looking, Mila Kunis subdues her. While an unconscious Emma is being dragged away, Daniel Radcliffe sees this but Mila tells him everything. He shrugs and just goes away, not bothering to save her. A few weeks later after finally being free and on Sunday night, Emma angrily returns to Michael's apartment and decided to sit next to him, feeling comfortable around him. She puts his head in her lap and pets him. She is upset over getting humiliated like that but only to find that he was sleeping. Not really having anything to do, she takes him to bed and sleeps on the couch. The next morning, she wakes up first and turns on the T.V. However, the news comes on and it talks about the crash, "This just in, 27-year-old Michael Austin Cera was revealed to be the source of this crash but couldn't be blackmailed by bad people because the victims are not pressing charges against him since it was an accident. They have recovered from the hospital and have hired lawyers to prevent a trial. Meanwhile, 30-year-old British local named Emma Watson had just escaped from a castle after being used for some pictures of her but she can't press any charges due to being revealed to have committed blackmail on Michael. It's up to Michael to press charges against her but the other actors don't want him to since the whole picture thing was punishment enough, despite his older sister Jordan Cera wanting to as a defense for her brother." Emma was stunned, she's being sued by Jordan Cera for blackmail. Now Emma is worried and feeling guilty. "However, a local man had this to say." The T.V. screen shows Uncle Barkus (no relation and voiced by Gary Anthony Williams) looking at the camera, "Hello folks, my name is Uncle Barkus no relation. I think that Canadian brat deserves to be arrested but I think that blackmail was punishment enough and I thank the British girl for doing that to him. I also apologize for /censored/ but lord knows they won't apologize for themselves." Emma rolls her eyes at this racism and continues watching. However, Michael saw the whole thing and smiles with joy, "Yes, freedom." Emma groans in defeat and is saddened. "Please, don't sue me. I'll do anything." says a begging Emma to Michael, who seems surprised. "I'm not gonna blackmail you. I don't do that. It's just wrong. I didn't really care about the blackmail. All I cared about was getting you to stop being so self-hating and open up to others." Emma was stunned and seems to have mix feelings about this. 1 year later, Michael Cera accepts the role of Scott Pilgrim in the 2017 film of the same name but is awaiting for a girl to play Ramona Flowers. He then gets invited to James Franco's house and decides to bring Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jonah Hill, Emma Watson, and Tom Welling with him. At night, they arrive but some complain about it. "I thought you would disagree to this. You know that even Jay Baruchel doesn't like to go here." pouted an annoyed Tom, who didn't like going to James Franco's parties. Michael sighs and mentally narrates, 'I usually agree with him because James Franco's parties are usually ended early because of conflicts caused mostly by Seann William Scott from American Pie. Yeah, he actually really is a womanizer in real life and the worst part is that Alexis Dziena is in love with him while ignoring Jay's feelings for her. I feel bad that the poor guy might get rejected tonight and I'm planning on comforting him. You know, I usually pair him up with Mary Elizabeth Winstead.' They come to the door and knock on it. It opens to reveal James Franco, who smiles and cheers. 'Yep everybody, James Franco from Spider-Man. Tobey Maguire didn't come because of some unknown problems. Lucky dude.' James let them inside and showed some paintings of their names. Jay sees this and looks uncomfortable. "What's wrong Jay?" asked a concerned Emma to a uncomfortable Jay, "I'm just not a big art guy." Michael face palmed, knowing what was about to happen. "I swear James, if you make another ten-minute lecture, I'm gonna pull the fire alarm in your house." James complied and didn't do his lecture. Jay smiled, "Thanks Michael." "No problem. I guess it's my thanks to you for saving me from Magic Magic." They both shiver at the thought of that film and who Michael was hired to play as but was saved by Jay Baruchel from taking the role of the character. They then see Seth Rogen talking with Seann and Alexis about Jay. "Guys, don't be mean to Jay. I feel bad for ditching him but I wanted him to interact with other people. I'm just upset that you don't even care Alexis." Seth was upset at her for ignoring Jay's feelings and finding him annoying because he didn't want to go. Jay and Michael walks towards them but Jay accidentally makes a mistake by asking them if they want to go to the store for smokes and drinks. Michael and Seth get worried because he's about to be rejected but they fail to stop it. So an angry Alexis just yells at him and rejects him, getting everyone's attention. Jay then looks depressed and betrayed, much to Michael's concern. "Jay, are you okay? Hey buddy, everything will be okay. Jay?" says a worried Michael but Jay just quickly leaves in sadness and goes outside to shed tears. Michael glares at William and Alexis in hatred and flips them off before going to comfort Jay while Mary Elizabeth Winstead goes to, leaving everyone to also glare at the couple. "That was a low blow. Wow, you really are selfish and never care about Jay. He likes you and wants to be with you but you're rejecting him for a womanizer just because Jay doesn't want to be at a party right now and doesn't trust other Hollywood actors that you've been neglecting him over." said an angry Tom but he turns to the other actors, "No offense guys." They wave him off and let him continue. "Jay is nothing but a lonely and misunderstood person who doesn't have anyone yet. He has had only you, Seth, Michael, and Mary but you betrayed him by ditching him and not being with him. You just decided to be a desperate girl looking for a man and just ignored Jay's feelings. You're better off as a mean and horrible human being." Alexis tries to reason with him but Tom tells her to shut up and declares that until she apologizes to Jay, he doesn't want her anywhere near him or anyone else. He then calms down and turns to William, "And you, this is for being a womanizing asshole." He then punches William's face and leaves the couple to be glared at. The couple then sit down but they start feeling guilty for what they did and agree that what they did was so uncalled for. Outside, Jay is sheading tears and wants to be alone. He can't believe he was yelled at just for wanting to be accompanied to the store. He then sees Michael and Mary coming towards him. "What do you guys want?" However, Mary hugs him while Michael also tries to comfort him, "Look dude, what she did was so uncalled for. Anyway, me and Mary wanted to tell you that you have Mary because she's had a crush on you for so long. Me and her will go with you to then store." Jay smiles and hugs Mary, who returns it. Then he kisses her, causing Michael to clap. They hug Michael and go with him but first go back to the house. "Hey Chris, where's my Eagles jacket?" Chris gives him the jacket but asks, "You going to the store?" Michael nods so Seth, Tom, Mila, and Chris come with them and they use Seth's car. Inside Seth's car, they all smile at how Jay and Mary are holding hands. Michael then asks, "So Chris, how have you and Mila been doing? Taking it slow or quick?" Seth stops the car at a stop light and takes the time to laugh at that question along with the others but Chris and Mila are annoyed by that and they frown at him. At the store, they are annoyed to find that Uncle Barkus (no relation) is working there and is not nice to a father and daughter. "Can my daughter use the restroom?" asked the father but Barkus points at a sign, "/Censored/, read the sign 'No /censored/ allowed'." The father is offended and asks if he's serious but Barkus just makes racist comments towards him. "Racist." muttered the group, the father, and the daughter. (note: this scene happens again in The End Is Near but during the film, Michael and Chris are the only actors at the store since other people stayed at Kevin Bacon's party while Jay, Mary, and Seth died in Horror War) Luckily, a kind-hearted employee named Usher (he's voiced by David Kaufman and not the rapper called Usher) had gave the family permission. At the counter, Barkus refuses to sell them snacks, "Get out of here. Go do your little high-fiving dancing and /censored/-monkey shuffle someplace else. This store here is for good people with a future." The group are annoyed by this but are happy that Usher helped them and let them buy the stuff because he liked their movies. In return, they take a picture with him. On the way back, they asked Michael Cera how acting is. Him, Chris, and Mila tell them how Michael won Total Drama World Tour, much to their cheering. At the party, they are happy to see that Dave Franco has arrived. Him and James smile at each other, "Welcome, little bro." "Thanks, big bro." They share a hug and smile at the group. "Hey Jay, I heard what happened. I'm sorry man but hey, I see you got Mary. Congratulations since she's hot and all that. However, don't tell my wife that I said that." The group laughs and parties but they frown at something. Leonardo DiCaprio is here and he's staring at all the girls while offering drugs. Michael narrates, 'Oh great, Leonardo DiCaprio's here. Sure, he was a good actor at first but then he started doing cocaine and became a big asshole. However, I little bit still watched some of his movies.' "Oh yeah, I tried getting him to leave but he bribed people to come in here." says an annoyed James who wants to fire his greedy guards. Emma Watson seems to be angry the most about him being here and tries to get him away. Later, Michael, Emma, Tom, Dave, James, Chris, Mila, Jonah, and Jesse Eisenberg are sitting on the couch. "You know Jesse, you might be Daniel Radcliffe's counterpart but you sound like me." says Michael pointing out the same voice that him and Jesse have. The group chuckle at this but the whole party hear Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick upstairs and groan at the noise they're making. "Oh hell no, not one of my beds." complained an annoyed James while Tom face palmed, "We don't need to hear that." However, Emma smirked at Michael. "Hey Michael, why don't we get revenge?" asked a smirking Emma to a blushing Michael while the others just smirk in amusement. "I have a guest bedroom." said a smirking James. Emma grabs Michael's hand while the others mockingly bow down to this. In the guest bedroom, Emma throws Michael on the bed but wants to hurt him, so Michael snaps, "OKAY THAT'S IT, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BITCHY ATTITUDE! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMMA WATSON THAT WE ALL KNOW! IF SHE'S IN THERE, I WANT HER TO KNOW THAT I USED TO LIKE HER AND WANTED TO BE FRIENDS! NOW YOU'RE JUST A SELFISH, BLACKMAILING BITCH! IF THERE'S SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THEN TELL ME!" Emma falls into depression and cries. Michael feels bad and tries to apologize but Emma doesn't want his apology and tells him a story about her in 2013. In a flashback, Emma and DiCaprio are shown being a couple and are waiting for DiCaprio's job on the movie The Wolf Of Wall Street, where DiCaprio plays a coke-headed stockbroker who becomes rich. However during the set, DiCaprio secretly hired a hooker to play the role of a woman who he sniffs cocaine out of but Emma found out and was angry. After the movie was done, she confronted him and was horrified to realize that he's been cheating on her and that he lied about quitting cocaine. She angrily slapped him, dumped him, and let him get arrested for drug possession. However, he convinced people to hate her by lying about her cheating on him. Due to not getting comforted, she became a spoiled, mean person who hates everyone and chose Michael as the main person to take her anger out on. After the story ends, Emma cries and calls herself the S-word that offends women but Michael hugs her, "Look, DiCaprio is such an asshole for what he did and doesn't deserve an amazing girl like you. If he doesn't see how great you are then that's his problem. You deserve better. You are a beautiful and intelligent woman who needs to take responsibility and not care what other people think. You have other people in life." Emma smirks and urges him to go on so Michael adds that she has him. Out of nowhere, Emma kisses him and they start making out, doing their "revenge". However once they are done, Emma pulls out a branding iron with a Gryffindor symbol (don't ask me how she got that) and brands it on Michael's chest, making him let out a quiet scream but the whole house can hear it and are wondering what's going on. When they come back downstairs, Michael informs them about what DiCaprio did and his friends were angry as Hell. John Cena threatens the cokehead, "DiCaprio, you better stay away from Emma." then he puts on knuckle busters and punches his palm before adding, "Or you get five across your lip, you big goatee dummy." Michael picks up a wooden katana, Chris picks up a guitar that was being thrown away, Mila takes a belt, Tom uses a baseball bat, and Charlie Murphy (a Caucasion clone of the original one) has a chain with him. DiCaprio doesn't seem scared and does a hand motion for them to come on but regrets it when they easily beat him up (off-screen) while Emma watches in sadastic glee and the others just flinch. After that, everyone leaves the party while Michael and Emma hold hands. The next day, they see the news about DiCaprio, "Hollywood actor Leonardo Wilhelm DiCaprio was just assaulted at the house of James Franco. Here's what he has to say." Then they see DiCaprio in a hospital bed and describing them as 'six assholes with a big attitude problem'. They roll their eyes and continue watching, "However, there were no charges because of DiCaprio's adultery actions being revealed and that the assault was declared punishment enough." Michael and Emma smile at each other and sit closely together as they think of a T.V. show to make. She also is revealed to have accepted the role of Ramona Flowers in the new movie Scott Pilgrim. They lived happily ever after, The End. (This is also the start of a new show called Hollydocks. Coming soon to Fanon Wiki in April) Characters *Michael Cera = Age: 27-29. Role: Protagonist and narrator. *Emma Watson = Age: 30-32. Role: Anti-Heroine. *Christopher Mintz-Plasse = Age: 25-27. Role: Little brother figure and best-friend. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Story Category:Romance Category:Rivals